How to Discipline this son of mine?
I was about to post my final episode of Milan but my mom called yet again about how menacing Kieran was after ..(I lost count how many times she called). She picked him up from school today as I was super busy with work and I had to send the maids to the agency to get a good whacking from the agent as they cooked up some cock and bull stories and wanted to go home before their contracts end. So can you imagine what kind of stressed has built up in my system at that time?? It was like going to explode ledi!
So I rushed home and even before I could enter the house I can hear my mom yadda yadda bla bla your son so disobedient…refuse to listen, fighting in school etc etc etc. I quickly grabbed the cane from my car (yes I keep a cane in the car!) and went straight upstairs. Upon seeing the look on my face, my mom panicked and quickly said that Kieran’s in the shower, wait…But I can’t wait as I was fuming! Went straight to the shower, yes I caned him and I think this was the hardest that I’ve caned him. I was screaming on top of my lungs as I guess he apparently did not get the message when I grounded him since the money incident!
I was so so so disappointed and sad with his behaviour. I really do not know how to teach him as each time after I talked to him, he seems to understand why he was being punished and that he should not repeat the mistake again, but yet again and again, he misbehaves. I really need help now, should I find a child councillor or child psychologist?? Really I’m at wits end now…I really do not want to go on with this shouting and caning session as I know it’s so unhealthy for both of us and I pity the neighbours also la! So how???????
Anyway apart from that, my mom found a peeled and cut cucumber in her maid’s bag! WTF is it in her bag and the shape was like ah hem..and when confronted she pulled an innocent face and said I don’t know why it’s in there..DUH!!!! Harroooooo..we were not born yesterday!! How disgusting can these maids get????
23 comments:
aiya...kids go through phases lah..don't hit him so often lah. My little one also acting up lately. Maybe Kieren is afraid of the new environment lah. You don't scare him more lah.
As for the maid, he he he.. she misses a man. Told you lah.. get a Filipino. As least she can have off day, and do all these nonsense OUTSIDE of your house.
haha, maids, they lie without their brain... i think in general, all also dunno how to lie... ALL!!
anyway, wah, u cane Kieran while he in shower? somemore say it's ur hardest? err, quite kesian hoh.... read liao also sakit leh....
Aiyo Amah dun pukul Kieran like tat la after when grow up liao ah still can remember the horror of mommy give him can in the shower la.....U got listen or not or ask why he is fighting at skool.. Mebbe he got bullied leh?? Nowadays kids veri clever liao wan not like when we use to be la so hor U hv to listen to them also U know.... Amah dun be too hard on urself la...
As for ur maid ah... wah she gatal liao issit, cucumber also she sapu....
aiyooo what about laundryapah! he also got a role to play woh...don't be so hard on kieran la...poor darling...don't put everything into his account loh...eventhough the day turn out bad...not all his fault la...u know laundryapoh...like to talk alot mah...apoh already!
as for ur maid...grrrrosss...eiks...yuucks!
OMG! Maid peel and cut cucumber into a *ahem* shape??? My goodness! Fulamak. This is just as shocking as the students doing it in their car outside my house! hahahha.
As for Kieran, I think need some patience lah. Dont think u need psychologist or anything. Just some patience should fix the problem.
poor kieran!Amah dont cane him so hard la..try talk to him lei.Everytime i see my SIL cane their children me also very heart pain.Ya,i think most kids are notti nowadays,very hard to discipline!Maybe next time will be my turn,cane even harder than u ? Cool down Amah!Dont be so stress..
Amah, calm down, kids always be kid, they sure have certain time to mischief themselves.
DOn't you realise that, you would feel the mischief behaviour as funny happened when you're happy but you would get mad if you're stress? I'm this kind of person, so i try to cool down myself before shouting my heart out to Jo.
Poor amah and poor kieran. don't be so stress la. I know, easier said than done but try taking deep breath or count to 10. Won't be so mad after that.
Wow...your maid is really terror and sick la. Ask her what she wants to cook with the cucumber.
nomad-ya hor..never thought of that, but then again he's been to school since he was 2 yrs old leh..
shannon-eh maids very clever one..pretend to be stupid only. ya lor me heart so pain after caning him la..
wenn-he's very sensitive type la so little bit oso angry leow so picked up a fight la..
ya ler that maid so geli la
2angels-ya lor..she later said i shouldn't have hit him so hard...pening or not??
julian-wah wah got free show ah?
annie-ayo that time ah i was so angry gila leow wor!
huisia-the problem is this amah very hot headed one! in the genes la!
momtochums-i got to learn to talk to him more...as for the maid..we will not be having cucumber for a long long time...
aiyo..amah..I know how you feel. I'm sure your heart all breaking when you whacking him. Ok..if you want to talk to him, only talk to him when both of you are doing something together. Then..you talk about your schooldays and how "hard" it was. Then..just see what he'll say about his. But this will take more than one time la. I'm sure he wants to listen..just that it's really hard not to succumbt to peer pressure at school. I think he's really trying to fit in.
eh..KICK YOUR MAID OUT! SICK! PUT IN HANDBAG SOMEMORE!!! CHEE SIN!
Yeah..but this school is like ten times bigger than his previous schools lah..
Hi, my first time here. Sorry to hear about your son. As I have yet to find out his age I'll refrain from commenting on this. But kids eventually when they grow up, they will out grown the naughty things they do. So, you have to be a little patient with him.
About your maid or your mom's maid... if you have a choice and can handle things, get a hourly maid. Those maid is really a troublemaker. No peace when they are around. Now that I've sent my maid back, life is breze!!
Halo Amah, reading ur blog daily and this is the 1st time to comment here. Poor Kieran, aunty oso heart pain after reading the blog. Am really know how u feel. Sometimes like ppl said 'fire block eyes'. Well, wat have done has passed, no point to feel guilty too. The most important thing is try to improve the situation.
My suggestion is u to bring kieran for a outing, only u & him with Apah (without Kylie yea). Let him hv some quality time with u. Try to find out and understand as many as possible of him, eg schoolife, friends, happiness, sadness and etc. Hofully, u'll be able to find out the reasons behind his misbehave then.
Ayo, Amah later must be angry me for so 'long wind'....hehehe...sama-sama we 'kamatei' in parenting yea..:-D
Alamak, I used to 'hoot' my girl very hard when she gets on my nerves too but now whenever she sees me going for my cane, she'll be shouting 'don't beat, don't beat, pain, pain'. I seldom use the cane on her now. Trying my best to reason her out and talking to her patiently sometimes works.
After beating Kieran, do u feel the uneasiness or heart pain or not?
Maybe it's sometimes dat we want to let our anger out when someone keeps repeately complaining to us (geram and pissed off). In order not to let the someone (in ur case, ur mom) continue and to 'shut her off', we got to 'teach' our kids by beating them and let the someone feel guilty. Aiyo, do I sound like an Ah Por now? (heehee)
Not easy to discipline kids of nowadays. They are so much smarter, wittier, naughtier, more active compared to kids during our times. Lots of patience and time, dat's what u and I need.
First-time here. Poor kieran! Got canned ... dun u feel a bit heartache? .. and the maid is really disgusting .... yucks ...!!!!!
ooouuccch!!! That's really a hard one for Kieren... poor boy... Amah don't be so stressed lar... Kieren still young so he still don't really understand why you cane him and worst is, he will harbour hatred rather than learning your well-meaning intention. Kids are smart these days so we have to use reversed phycology to deal with them... unlike our time... the moment we see the cane we behave.
Even for Darrius we can use the cane to threaten him now but I'm sure he will not be scare after a few times and he will get bolder.
Caning is only a short term tool to discipline a child and if prolonged usage may result in a not so ideal behavior....
Am I making any sense here???
I guess at times we find it too overwhelming having to create that balance between laying out limits and at the same time trying to use the loving without spoiling method to get message across.
Thanks for being so honest sharing these experiences. I am learning from your experience.
mott-ya ya my heart like broken into a zillion pieces la...as for the maid, it's not the 1st time i've heard of such case wor..
nomad-ya wor...ok la...
hijack-sorry i thot u visited first in my anniversary post. thanks for sharing your views, that's the idea of posting here and gather ideas!
cutie-hi hi thanks for dropping by! no no not long winded, really appreciate your views! that's why i blog la!
tracy-yeah,,thanks for your views too. i try not to whack him too much also...but that day i really lost it lor..
twin-hi hi thanks for dropping by and yes i was very very sad of course!
angel-ya if u just hit the cane on furniture and floor of course he will not be sked ler...
wmd-it's definitely a learning process daily!!
Aiyo.. kena whacked ah?
But he's a boy ler.. will be more mischievious.. he probably doesn't know the seriousness of some things he did.
Walau.. your maids.. so the disgusting one, and then why must peel it one? More 'juicy'? BLECH!
Yucky about the maid, can trust to cook liddat ah?
As for Kieran, don't be too harsh on himlah. My Ryan's the same age and also like that. U certainly are more strict than me and I thought I was tough on my kid. Lol.
I heard of fisherman with the squid and now maid with cucumber. Alamak.
Anyway a child psychologist may be able to help. I remember my friend also went to 1, as her son was also very naughty. It helps her to know what is the core of the problem.
ouch...that must have hurt so much..hmmm i saw this book call Nanny, it seems to be the perfect book for disciplining kids, wanna give a try?
aiyoo...cucumber in her bag!!!
Poor Kieran...amah I think kids notty at this age is quiet normal one. Please dun beat him when he was in the middle of doing something la especially shower. Aiyoo...the fella will terkejut one.
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